Christian Mingle… The True Life Story!

So I said I would never blog about this. Yet, here I am. I guess as the old adage goes, never say never. Actually that saying also applies to dating sites in general. Yes, I was one of those people that always said I would never join a dating site, never! To me that was something you did if you were like 50 and totally desperate. Rather judgey, I know. But it’s okay, because in the end, I had to eat crow.

I joined a dating site for the first time back in 2009, before I ever found out about Christian Mingle. It all started with that flyer… that darn flyer.

In April of 2009 my parents, my sister Cecily, my cousin Pam, and I took a trip to Dallas to attend a concert called The Rock & Worship Roadshow. It was a huge concert with a bunch of different bands held at the American Airlines Center. As we were waiting in line before the show someone came around passing out flyers for a new Christian dating site called, JC Match. Yes, as in Jesus Christ Match, hence the “JC”. (Which gives me a total 90’s Christian kid flashback, by the way… ya know, “who’s in the house?, JC!”. Anyone?? Okay, obscure reference to Carmen thrown in there for no extra charge. Anyway, moving on.)

(Yep, I saved this! I just had to! It doesn’t say it on the flyer but their tagline was “Let His heart lead yours”. Yep, that’s exactly what we were doing. ;))

They handed one to each of us three girls and as soon as they walked away, we laughed about it, threw it in our purses, and didn’t give it another thought. Until later that night, that is.

Back at the hotel after the show, me and my cousin are the only ones still awake, so she grabs my lap top computer… and the flyer! I was in disbelief that she would even consider signing up for a dating site let alone a dating site called “JC Match”. But alas, it didn’t take long before we were both totally engrossed in going from profile to profile. It was like a man menu! And some of these profiles must have been pretty funny because all I remember is us both laughing so hard as we scrolled through for like an hour. If nothing else it was sure entertaining!

She signed up that same night, I believe. And after some prodding from her, I soon followed suit. Then I took the liberty of signing my very reluctant sister up against her will soon after that. While nothing ever came of it for me and my cousin (who by the way, is now married to a really good guy that she did not meet on a dating site), it sure did for my sister. Believe it or not she met a guy who was actually at that very same concert and got the very same flyer!

Soon we had a complete stranger coming to our house to meet her face to face. Which honestly was a strange mix of weird and exciting all at the same time. I mean he ended up being a nice person and thankfully was not a psycho, but I seriously do not think my dad slept that whole night lol. He was on guard just in case this dude tried anything! While things between them didn’t work out… little did we know this was only beginning of her dating site journey.

So fast forward to 2011, when she signs herself up for Christian Mingle. Then in a stroke of evil genius, she turned the tables on me and signed me up against my will. Which of course I think brought her a sick sense of satisfaction. And while nothing came of it for me… once again, it sure did for her lol. And this time in a big way.

Soon we had yet another guy coming to our house to meet her face to face lol. And as it turns out the second time was a charm for her! The two met face to face at the end of May 2011 and before we knew it… about 6 months later, she was married.  So yes, my sister has a Christian Mingle success story. Proof that these stories do exist and that these things can happen. And that they aren’t totally lying to us in those super cheesy commercials with their rather questionable advice, such as the cringe worthy tagline - "Sometimes we wait for God to make the next move, when God is saying, ‘It’s your time to act'. The next move is yours. Find God’s match for you at ChristianMingle.com.”

So even though thus far, nothing has even remotely come of it for me, I am still on Christian Mingle. While I’m not a paying subscriber at the moment, I’m on there! Though in all honesty, sometimes I have no idea why lol.  Boredom? Maybe. The small hope that something could eventually come of it? Maybe… probably. However, my time on there has led me to some very, shall we say, interesting observations that I thought I would share with you guys!

I should preface by saying that these are not meant to offend anyone. But c’mon, you have to admit, if you are on one of these dating sites for any amount of time there are certain things you just can’t help but notice. Things that just make you scratch your head in bewilderment. Things that simply frighten you.

My Top 5 Christian Mingle Observations - 

1. Let’s start this off with what I’m going to call the “Hunter & Gatherer Phenomenon”. This one’s for the guys that obviously love to fish and hunt. I’m totally not the fishing & hunting kinda girl but if that’s what you’re into, cool. But maybe, just maybe the picture of you holding up the bloody dead fish is not the best Christian Mingle profile picture. Just putting that out there. It’s kinda like when your cat puts a dead mouse on your door step. No really, go with me here. Your cat brings you the mouse to show that they are big strong hunters and they want you to be proud… but really you’re just disgusted. I recently came across a guy holding up two dead ducks by the neck… didn’t know whether to cry or puke.

2. Okay, now to address the guys who take shirtless photos of themselves lying in bed. There is seriously no point in doing this unless you look like friggin’ Ryan Gossling. And even then a picture like that just makes you look conceited. And no girl wants to date a guy who thinks he’s prettier than she is.

(Yes, if you’re paying attention this is the second blog in a row with a Ryan Gossling “Hey Girl”meme. Don’t judge me.)

Plus, there’s the whole we’re on Christian Mingle and you’re like trying to seduce me thing (ahem, especially if you’re not even doing a good job at it) that just seems kinda wrong.

3. The grandpa’s and the men old enough to be my father… le sigh. I’m sorry but I ain’t no gold digger, gramps and I do not have daddy issues. Just no.

4. The guys who are in their late 20’s or early 30’s and are looking for girls that are 18 and 19. Simple, I don’t trust you. I just don’t. Sorry… not sorry. I see this so often and it just really baffles me as the thought of dating a guy who is 18 or 19 weirds me out! C’mon, do you want to date or babysit? Just sayin’. Someone please explain this phenomenon to me because I really don’t get it.

5. Lastly, the guys who make goofy or slightly scary faces on their profile picture. I admit it, I’ve clicked on you, just because I was like “What the what??” So if the idea was to get attention then… mission accomplished? lol Actually, oddly enough, a couple of you even turned out to be cute… in your normal pictures that is. But I just wonder if maybe there’s a slightly less disturbing way to get us girls to click onto your profile.

Edit: So I had a hunch there would be more to add to the list. Ahem, #6. Trying to pass off pictures of celebrities as yourself. Um, hello, I know that's Paul Walker!  You're not fooling anyone!!

So those are my top 5 observations! I’m sure as time goes on, there will be lots more to add to the list. If you are or have ever been a Christian Mingler or an E-Hamonizer, or any of the other many dating sites out there, I want to hear from you! Your funny observations, stories, the good, the bad, the ugly! If ya got ‘em, share ‘em!

All of this is not to say or sound like I have it figured out and that I don’t sound like a total dork on my profile. Because I’m pretty sure that I do lol. It’s weird talking about yourself, posting pictures… basically putting yourself on display like cattle at the county fair. Ack! It’s awkward.

I confess that I act like I don’t care but yet I’ve written and rewritten my profile… and I still cringe when I read it. And I confess that sometimes, in admitted shallowness, I click on a guys photos first. I have a weird habit of sizing someone up based on their music taste (It says a lot about someone, okay?)… I know it’s silly but I can’t help it! I have the hardest time forcing myself, even if I’m really interested in a guy, to send one of those super cheesy “smiles” or greetings. And I confess that I’ve thought hundreds of times about just deleting my account.

Ah, the world of online dating is a weird one, for sure. But obviously, for some people, it does work. So whether you’re letting His heart lead yours or you’ve stopped waiting on God and made the first move… I wish you luck. God speed, my friend.

Yep, in case you haven’t heard, there’s a movie. Now, I haven’t watched it but I believe my sister and her hubs watched it on their anniversary last year. Because you know, how could they not, right? Seeing as how Christian Mingle brought them together I guess they owed them that much.