Wants vs. Needs...

I think I'm in the middle of learning the hard lesson that sometimes God doesn't always give you what you want but instead gives you what you need. I swear I can be such a brat sometimes. Getting frustrated with God because He's not giving me what I want. Thinking, "God, for once, can't I just have what I want?". Thinking that He's forgotten me or holding out on me for some reason. I'm so focused on what I don't have that I'm missing it. In spite of my brattiness, God, in His loving kindness is trying to protect me. He sees the big picture that I can't see. He knows that what I want might bring me more harm than good in the end. That what I want might just turn out to be what I didn't really want after all.

I have to trust His heart for me. And that His heart for me is only good. I have to trust that He will not withhold any good thing from me... but the thing is, I don't always know what really is good. I have to remember that His ways are higher than mine. I don't have to understand what He is doing in my life, I just have to trust. And act... stepping out in faith and doing what I feel He has put in my heart to do. Having the faith that He will illuminate the path little by little as I walk it. Trusting His timing. I know He makes all things beautiful in it's time.

I want to stop focusing on all I want and all I don't have. I want to somehow find a way of embracing this season. I want to appreciate and have a heart of thankfulness to God for his protection and provision. Being thankful that in spite of my bad attitudes and short sightedness, He still sees fit to guard me. Protecting me and shielding me from all I want but don't really need. Protecting me from going down my own destructive path. Saving me from myself.

"For the LORD God is our sun and our shield. He gives us grace and glory. The LORD will withhold no good thing from those who do what is right." - Psalm 84:11